Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
