arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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