therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
