I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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