I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
