I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
