.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
