my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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