So drunk its hurt
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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