Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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