Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
