and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love you. Go after that dick
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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