Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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