you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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