just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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