Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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