At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
