Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
