I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
