Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize