dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
