i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
