so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
