We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
