I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
