It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
