there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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