You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
