you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
