I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
