We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Your cock deserves a montage
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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