Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
