Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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