At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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