Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
