i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
