ugly people sure do ruin things
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
