We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize