We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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