We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize