I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
