Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
