I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize