I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize