Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
