Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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