I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
