Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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