Your dad touched me again.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
