This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize