The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
