I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
