Christians are straight up FREAKS
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shame - the story of my life.
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