How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
