so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
