all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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